Lowered Expectations: Hello Patches!
Hello Ladies,
This is your host, July, and Welcome to Lowered Expectations.
Today we going to meet an aspiring young lad, who is well employed, full of energy, and available.
Let's bring out Pat, and listen to his interview!
...an Army of One...
Hello Pat, how are you this early morning? - sleepy July
"Hi Bob! I just leveled up on my online RPG. It's going to be a good day." - Not Experienced Pat
So Pat, let's talk about you. You look kinda young...when did you Graduate?
"uhm...2004, yeah." - What's that, It's' Pat!
Any college or tech school afterwards? - Riveted July
"I was in the Army, but something happened, and I didn't graduate, so now I'm working." - an Army of One...Pat.
Really?, that IS interesting.... by the way, Pat. How much do you weigh? - Shocked & Awe'd July
"Oh, about 95 pounds." - Pat O'Pounder.
....and? - Staring Like Somethings Wrong July.
"And what?" - Puzzled Pat.
Nevermind. Nothing. - Not so Hopeful July.
"People do that a lot to me" - I've got something to Say Patrick
What? - Next Subject July.
"Nevermind." - Confused, I think Pat.
So you're a working lad. Where does your financial security rest? - Journalistic rebound July.
"Ozark Mountain Bank." - Happy to Answer Pat!
I meant where do you work? - Somewhat resigned July
"Oh, I work at Subway most of the day, then I work at KFC for the evening." - Workaholic Pat
Oh, Subway AND the Colonel employ you, intriguing... - Not really Intrigued July.
American on White, lots of Pickles.
"10:00 AM." - I can't wait to Work Patrick!
.....it's 7:42am. Why are you here? - I Get Paid to Wake with the Dead July
"Well I get dropped off at this time, and I can do all sorts of crap here at the internet cafe" - I read e-mails Patrick.
So... you rely on free transportation...correct? That's called a 'hook-up' Patches, my lad. Can you say 'I got the hook-up?' - Laughing, yet Apathetic July
"I've got the hookup!" - And Lemon Zest! Patches!
You should definitely remember that line. Ok, so what sports or activities do you enjoy most? - This Might Get Interesting July
"I enjoy watching WWE, I get so excited before a match, if you know what I mean? eh ? eh ?" - Yes I think I just said that Patches
No I don't. Ever. Forever. Down inside. Ever. No. What else? - Mental Firewall Up, Next Subject July.
"I can spend ALL DAY watching Nascar! I love Jeff Gordon." - Pretending to Steer Pat.
Nascar? WWE? Patches my lad, you need to settle down, you sound like the rowdy type! ahh but we all have our vices. - I love my Job July
"G-G-G-G-G-Giiddigty"- Over excited Pat.
What the Hell was that? - 2 Steps Back July
"Hmm? What?" - Blank Stare Pat.
Nothing...Nevermind... - Cautious as a Kitty July
Ok I've prepared a Collage, and I want you to tell me if this correctly identifies you, or if anything is out of place. - Artisticly inspired July
"Wow! That picture ROCKS! I have the same poster of Jeff Gordon in my room!" - Ecstatic Patches!
Ok here is a white Sharpie, you have 30 seconds to write whatever comes to mind on the Collage...and GO GO GO! - Encouraging Funny Things July
"OH, ah, oh, ahh, ok , ahhh......lets se.. OH oH .... OK ok ... ok... DONE!" - Excited Pat!
Ok well Ladies, here is Patrick A' la Collage! - Closing July
"Wait don't you need my cell phone, or address?" - Concerned Pat
No, we'll point out that you have a cell phone, and if it was meant to be you'll get a call. Happy hunting Pat! - Exhausted July
*Cue Lowered Expectations Theme Song
jj
posted by Ego @ 6:35 AM
13 comments
13 Comments:
This just might be greatness personified.
Thanks!
so im sitting here in utter silence. because i am in so much awe...THAT> AND i just peed myself from laughing and im trying to figure out my next move.
lovelovelove
$penny (no moron, not "spenny")
Moron!? I'm hurt!
<3 $penny!
(thank you btw :D )
P.S. read the my drafts...
I don't often admit this, but I am a huge WWE fan.
I'm sorry, first impressiona of you, and my own stereotyping did not even see that coming. In fact it was like my logic was blind sided with a freight train, which short circuited my brain, and now I am a vegetable.
Please to help my ailing condition, tell me if you are 'into' WWE , or watch it just for entertainment value?
I am laughing so hard right now. Nobody expects me to be a WWE fan.
My husband is a fan, and I used to make fun of him for it. But in order to do a good job making fun of something, you have to know a lot about it. So I'd watch for five minutes here and there to get a better feel of what was going on, and before I knew it, I'd been sucked in. I had a huge crush on The Rock, was amazed by The Undertaker's showmanship, and to this day, I find Mick Foley's 1998 King of the Ring cage match to be a haunting metaphor for life itself.
Wow. The fact that you can remember the name, and effect of a specific event, no LESS call it a metaphor of life itself...Makes me respect you're viewing choice.
Let's get ready to RUUUUUUUUUUMMMMBLLEEEEEE!!!!
No, no, no. The "Let's get ready to rumble" guy is a boxing announcer.
Oh snap! Well. I trust your expertise. It sounded better in my head, then in execution... oh well ;)
weve known that for a while.
AnD
!
i got bighugefun sunglasses for our photoshoot.
:)
That is just great!
hey thanks shutter(chris) ;P
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